Saturday, May 28, 2011

New Question


I have developed feelings for my same-sex friend and have started to explore the possibility of being lesbian.  I  am just wondering, I understand the non-sexual side of a lesbian relationship and I feel like I would be satisfied spending my life with another woman even if the relationship remained somewhat unsexual.  However, I also feel that when you are in love with someone there is going to be a sexual side to the relationship, so what kind of sex life do lesbians have?  I have seen some things on the internet and it seems to be a little played up for the enjoyment of others and there is obviously no connection between the two women.  I must admit that I have sort of been influenced by the stereotypes that lesbian and gay relationships have somewhat flamboyant sex.


If it turns out that you are a lesbian, and you love the person that you are with AND your relationship includes sex- you can expect extraordinary sex. When you love and trust someone and you have sex with them- sex is usually very good.

Really and truly we are our own enemies when it comes to good or bad sex. Sex is a very personal and sensitive subject which is RIFE with psychological and physiological toxins that can make enjoyment of sex very difficult. Some of us can't enjoy it at all and some of us have a wet blanket which smothers half of our enjoyment potential called insecurity.

You are correct. Pretty much all lesbian porn videos and 90% of lesbian movies do not portray lesbian sex in a natural or accurate light. If you would like to see a movie that is a good portrayal of the passion of lesbian sex- please watch "Desert Hearts", "Loving Annabelle" or any episode of "The L Word". Sex is what we make of it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Also- just because you have sex with a woman- it doesn't make you a lesbian. You seem to know that by what you wrote, but just reinforcing that thought.

Write back if you need more! I wish you great happiness!

Blue Sleighty

GOOD MORNING! Lesbian Kisses from Blue.

Friday, May 27, 2011


Happy FRIDAY! A Lesbian KISS from BLUE to YOU

A Word of Caution About LATEX SEX TOYS

The FDA (Food and Drug Administration) does not regulate manufacturing of sex toys or the materials used to do so.

Many sex toys and most condoms are made of Latex or PVC and often also contain phthalates which is added to keep latex soft and pliable. Contact with latex causes sensitivity over time due to a cumulative affect with each use. Often people are initially allergic to latex and suffer severe symptoms when in contact with it.

The symptoms of latex allergy may be relatively mild, but can include burning or stinging and itching, urinary tract and/or bladder infection, high fever, liver and/or kidney damage and death. Even though you may not be allergic to latex at first- it will build up in your body and with continued exposure most people will eventually have a reaction to it.

The additive phthalate is also toxic, as is PVC (polyvinyl chloride). Both are known carcinogens. But phthalates are EXTREMELY DANGEROUS causing changes in the endocrine system, changes in hormone levels, birth defects, breast cancer and more. Please read THIS ARTICLE for more about phthalates.

The good news is- silicone and rubber are safe. So as long as you purchase 100% silicone or 100% rubber sex toys you can play safely.

However- a manufacturer can label a sex toy as made of silicone or rubber as long as silicone or rubber is the MAIN ingredient, and many times even though a sex toy may say it is silicone, it may not be 100% silicone and can contain latex , phthalates or pvc. When you purchase a sex toy it is very important to make certain that it is made of 100% silicone or rubber.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Dawn

She lay with me by a river
Water rushing over rock
Breezes whispering with the leaves
On boughs twisting with the power
She danced with me in the ocean
Waves kissing tender feet
In a private morning hour
Before the sun joined us
And set our world aglow
And though I swore I did not want her
I know that now I will never let her go

Wednesday, May 25, 2011


My girlfriend engaged in fisting with an inexperienced partner 20 years ago, and was physically traumatized. She was enormously embarrassed when she nearly bled to death, had to go to the hospital and required surgery to repair her torn vaginal canal.
However, 20 years later, she and I frequently enjoy sex that includes fisting. I am very experienced in this sexual activity. It is what one would call EXTREME sex and can be quite dangerous, but very pleasurable for the receiver and the giver if done correctly. If not done correctly, the receiver can be injured, and even die were she to suffer trauma or embolism.
Therefore- this is an act that leaves one very vulnerable, and requires a lot of trust and communication.Fisting is the ultimate penetration, I would think. And it is an awesome experience to share with your lover.
If your lover is not reading this article with you (or does not seek education about the act if she has never done it) - then fisting is NOT for you. This is an act that must be agreed upon and be experienced as a couple. This is NOT an act to engage in with a casual acquaintance or approached in a casual way.
- HOW do you do it?
For this act to be pleasurable, your LOVER must WANT to be penetrated in this way. It is mostly about her and not about the performer. HER desire to have your FIST inside of her comes from intense feelings of arousal and passion and love. You can not and must not try this if your partner does not WANT you to do it. Do not talk a reluctant partner into it.
The basic things that you must be aware of, are the safety measures. So you must have trust, communication, desire, and plenty of . . . LUBRICATION.
In order to attempt penetrating your partner with your fist she must be very sexually aroused. There is a lot of foreplay involved. And it is best when you (the giver) are aroused as well.
After engaging in enough foreplay for your partner to want penetration, and imagine your fist inside of her, you should ask first if she has not expressed the desire for you to do this.
Before attempting to engage in the sexual act of fisting- I recommend this checklist:
1. You, the PERFORMER (the partner who is about to perform this sexual act) have fingernails that are short and clean and have no sharp edges and you have clean hands
2. You, THE PERFORMER (the partner who is about to perform this sexual act) are capable of proceeding slowly, and capable of STOPPING if your partner says to STOP (this is not a time to be carried away by passion!)
3. You, THE PERFORMER (the partner who is about to perform this sexual act) have removed any and all jewelry that you wear on your hands. NO JEWELRY. No bracelets, no rings, or any other kind of jewelry. And, I discourage fisting when you are using sculpted nails, as well
4. Receiving partner – ABOUT TO HAVE THIS ACT PERFORMED ON YOU - must be capable of relaxing. You must trust your partner. Must feel comfortable with communication during sex, and must reconsider this sexual act if you have a “friable cervix”, or any other physical situation which would result in the presence of blood, including your menses cycle (period), unless you and your partner have agreed that it is alright if you are exposed to each other’s blood. This is not a good time for surprises
That said- here are my suggestions:
Once you and your partner feel that the time is right, foreplay should begin, and you should eventually alternate clitoral stimulation with digital vaginal penetration.
When the performer feels natural lubrication present from the receiver, she should start to penetrate the receiver’s vagina with her fingers, while still paying attention to the clitoris. Once the receiver is thoroughly lubricated and obviously willing, the performer should present more fingers into the receiver’s vagina, while still administering stimulation to the clitoris, and kissing the receiver, administering nipple stimulation, as well, if possible.
When the time comes that while administering digital penetration it is easy to slip four fingers inside of the receiver’s vagina, the couple can proceed towards penetration of the fist.
A good lubricant should be presented to the vagina at this point, even if the receiver is extremely wet from excitement, and stimulation should be continued. Always.
In order to present the fist into the vagina, the presenter should form a fist, and observe her fist (a mental observation is OK) to make certain that her fingertips have been carefully ‘curled under’, or padded against other fingers to protect the receiver from possible injury from sharp fingernails, and that the fist has a shape that will make it possible to penetrate the vagina easily, and allow for maximum stimulation.
The act of fisting affords the opportunity to massage the “G” Spot in a very intense way, as the presenter can twist her fist once inside of the receiver’s vagina and use her knuckles to massage the receiver’s “G” Spot more deeply and directly than by using a sex toy, or by digital penetration or by any other means that I am aware of.
Lubrication should be in place. The presenter’s fist should not be clenched as if the presenter were about to engage in a fight and use it as a weapon, but should have the fingers positioned as to configure what might resemble a cone shape (or a REALLY big penis head). This shape allows for easier penetration. The ‘fighter’s’ fist shape will absolutely not safely work for this sexual act and therefore should not be attempted.
The presenter should listen to, and obey the receiver. No means no. Slow means slow.
Once the presenter’s fist is inside of the receiver’s vagina, movement should be smooth and slow until the presenter’s fist feels accommodated within the receiver. The receiver will let you know how much, how fast and exactly how to proceed.
As the receiver becomes more accustomed to her lover’s entire hand being inside of her vagina, she will develop her own rhythm and hip movements and can be relied upon to communicate to the presenter what she believes feels best to her. The presenter should be aware that orgasms involve very powerful muscle contractions, and should your lover experience an orgasm while you are fisting- your hand could actually be subject to injury. Even as serious as a broken bone.
Done correctly- the act of fisting, in my estimation, can be the most exciting sexual act that you will ever engage in. It is the ultimate act of sharing, trust and respect. Communication. It is quite incredible. And THAT is what you can EXPECT from the experience.
Also expect to be a little sore the next day. That is normal.
If you decide as a couple to do this- PLEASE – proceed with caution!

About Strap On Sex

A NUMBER ONE!- LATEX ALLERGIES! Latex Dildos are potentially very BAD for you! They absorb bacteria, they contain carcinogens (cancer causing chemicals), AND MANY PEOPLE ARE ALLERGIC TO LATEX! An allergic reaction to latex can KILL YOU! It can cause anaphylactic shock, which is potentially life threatening. At the very least, an allergic reaction to latex will cause burning and irritation, or a bladder infection. It can also damage your kidneys and liver. PLEASE BE CAREFUL! Buy silicone sex toys if you have experienced any strange reactions to latex, or if you know that you are allergic. Make sure your sex toy is 100% silicon, like VixSkin. Always use a condom. And, of course, if you are allergic to latex- use a non-latex condom, like the DUREX Avanti, or the Trojan Natural Lamb.
1. The harness that you choose is very important. I find, that for me, the "thong" style just doesn't work. Not enough control. I need a strap around each thigh, in order to keep the dildo snugly against me, and "centralized".
2. Leather is great looking. But, it wears out faster than nylon. Also, nylon is easier to wash. It dries faster, too. And, if you are in a big hurry, you can throw it in the clothes dryer.
3. The o-ring that the dildo fits through is important. It can be too small in circumference to accomodate the dildo that you intend to use. So, when you buy the harness, be sure that it has a big enough o-ring.
4. The length of the dildo is important. If it is too short (less than 7"), it will slip out of the vagina a lot, because it will be too short to control. And, that can be a big turn off, and be very frustrating.
5. What it looks like matters. It depends on the person. Some people are turned on by "foreign object" looking dildos. Some people are turned on by realistic looking dildos. I encourage discussion because that, too, can be a turn on.
6. I encourage you to make sure you know how to put it on, before you plan a night of fun with it. It's sexier that way.
7. Use a good water based lubricant.
8. Keep your sex toys clean, and use condoms with dildos. Dildos are absorbent, and therefore will absorb harmful bacteria.
Blue Sleighty is an expert at ALLEXPERTS.COM . Please do not hesitate to write if you have questions regarding sexuality, sexual orientation, writing / self publishing, or any other concern.

Lesbian Mommies and Their New Bundle of Joy

The L Word

The L Word I’ve always preferred the word ‘gay’ over ‘lesbian’ although I don’t really care which of the many words people use. I am sure most of you know where the word ‘lesbian’ originates from.  To those of you who don’t know, here are some tedious, pointless facts / opinions… that won’t change your life, on the big ‘L’ word and lesbian history according to Wikipedia…

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Trust me . . . a lesbian pic from Blue to You . . .

Lesbian Hugs From Blue to You aka We're All the Same Height When We're Lying Down!

Hugs From Your Warrior Princess!

Campaign still growing with 100,000th signature - News

Campaign still growing with 100,000th signature - News May 12 marked the day that Caroline Kennedy became the 100,000th signer on a letter to President Barack Obama

The letter urges President Obama to allow committed gay and lesbian couples join in matrimony, according to a press release from the Freedom to Marry campaign.

The campaign is a nationwide effort trying to put a stop to "federal marriage discrimination".

Good Morning Lesbian Love

Your Morning Lesbian Kiss From Blue to You!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Virtual Sex

RealTouch brings you the future-
For those of you not familiar with the interactive virtual sex toy, RealTouch, please visit their website: for gay men. for straight men.

This system interacts with video enabling the user to have virtual sex with favorite celebrities, porn stars and webcam models.

As use of RealTouch becomes more popular- which will likely happen quickly -  there will be online sexual social networking communities of RealTouch users that will be able to interact with each other with virtual sexual encounters.

The women's model is on the drawing board- but no release date is promised.

My Secret Obsession

Advances In Sex - Take a Look

Take a look at RealTouch.

For those of you not familiar with the interactive virtual sex toy, RealTouch, please visit their website: for gay men. for straight men.

At this point, the 'system' is only available for gay and straight men. RealTouch involves a "unit" that simulates the vagina, the mouth, or the anus. The sex toy part of the system is so advanced that it is warmed, has a warmed recycling lubrication reservoir, and internal make up that very accurately reproduces the feel of vaginal, oral and anal sex. Not only THAT, but you will be enjoying videos of your favorite porn stars that actually interact with the function of the sex toy, simulating an actual sexual encounter. It is already mind blowing- but WAIT! There's MORE!

Also in the plan are interactive SEXUAL social networks and / or communities. You will be able to have virtual sex with anyone that strikes your fancy!

There will be a model for women I was assured by my sales executive at AEBN. It is on the drawing board, but not yet available and there is not a projected roll out date just yet. The model for women will have a dildo involved.

I am very excited about this step in sexuality. I am waiting in anticipation for the roll out of the woman's model!


My Goal

My goal is to support myself working from home. I only need to make $20,000 a year.

I know that it is a small amount, but, Jax and I share expenses, we have very little debt, no car payments, a very low mortgage payment and on top of all that, we share my 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom 2 story home in Houston's MIDTOWN with my daughter and her husband.

We actually SAVE money when I work from home. When the whole household has their meals prepared, their laundry done, and their errands ran for them- everyone saves a ton of money, and are generally healthier and less stressed. Jax has lost 20 pounds since I started working from home because she eats healthier and is happier. I can prepare 2 meals a day for four people for about $50.00 a week. We have a garden, too, so that helps.

Jax works in non-profit teaching financial literacy, ESL and social studies. She is working on her PhD. She works in a community center in one of the biggest ghettos in the U.S. At the center, a person who has had an interruption in their lives for whatever reason - jail, pregnancy, drug addiction, illness or whatever, can get their lives back together with the kindest and most sincere support. At no charge, those enrolled can learn English if they need it, Spanish to an intermediate level, attend adult basic education classes and get a G.E.D. (the test costs $80), learn basic computer skills and up to advanced Microsoft Office 2010 classes. And after that- on to college.

Jax teaches financial literacy in conjunction with government financial institutions and organizations. She has won two Benjy awards. Oprah has won one.

I am so financially literate that Jax actually learns from me.

If you follow me / us (Jax & Me), you can expect a wealth of valuable information. I have pursued and was granted government money to buy my home. I have fought and WON an ADA case without and attorney, and many other wondrous feats. I will be writing articles about how to manage your life and money more efficiently, how to qualify for grants and assistance and much more.

I am an artist/writer/web designer/information manager. I specialize in managing information for construction projects up to major capital (a billion$ +). Part of that job involves systems administration and database administration. I own a lesbian erotica website called My Secret Obsession ( and I am an expert at; I have written, self-published, and self marketed 25 short stories, and 5 books and I have written 100 poems, many of which are used and referenced. Also countless articles.

So, I will also be blogging about self publishing, writing, self marketing as well as all things lesbian.

I hope that you will follow and give us a shot.

At some point, there will be opportunities to donate $1.00. I am hoping we will make it worth it for you to donate $1.00, one time.

Stay in touch!

I Want You

The view from here


Your curves bend like the highway

Enthralling me with your essence

Every soft inch of you

Burning your brand on my soul

Even when passion turns harsh

I crave you. Want you. Just can’t stop.

Overflowing love

I can’t contain it

I can’t deny it

I am your fool

I want you

I burn for you

Let me touch you

Where I know it’s good for you

Come to me.

Say you want me, too.

A Mother's Nightmare

A night I will not soon forget. Take HEED, ladies!
One night, my daughter and her friend asked me if I would give them a ride to a local club. They have cars, but, in Houston, Texas on a holiday weekend- driving is a bad idea because they have decided that the whole world is drunk on holidays. They quadruple the police on duty, stop eveyone (because they do not have to have a reason- it's called "implied consent") and take them to jail. They don't care if you have been drinking or not. They can decide you are intoxicated even if you have not ingested ANYTHING (patriot act + implied consent= George W. Bush).
I dropped my CJ and her friend off at about 9:00. We (J and I) went to bed, because we knew we would have to go back and get them sometime around 2.
Phone rings at 2:30 a.m. with the come and get us request.
J and I stumble out to my car, shaking off the cobwebs of slumber, and drive around to the club where my girls are. They said to pick them up where we let them off, so we pull up to the front door.
A crowd was gathering as we pulled up. CJ tells me thet there is something wrong with Crystal. CJ says that they got a drink for "last call" from the bartender and that after Crystal drank it, she began to behave strangely.
Crystal was sitting on the concrete landing of the club's entrance, crying. So- I get out to help her to the car.
She could not get up. Period. She was completely incoherent. Crying. Screaming. I was scared to death that the cops were going to come and take her to jail for public intoxication (and throw her in a tank where she would probably be left to die). She was completely limp. Dead weight. Thank god I lift weights. So- I picked her little limp body up and put her in my car. J was driving.
We get home, and I am thinking we should probably take Crystal to the hospital. But, I wanted to assess her, first. (I have medical experience). Because I know if I take her to the hospital, there will be a lot of trouble. Cops. Upset parents. Huge bill. So- I carried her inside, and put her on the daybed in my living room. And yes, I know I put myself at risk for a lawsuit, and many other bad things. Isn't it a shame that you aren't allowed to care anymore? But- fuck it. I did it anyway.
After two hours of screaming, crying, pissing in her pants, dry heaves, weird circulation (her lips and face were normal color, her hands and nails were fine, but her feet kept turning blue). she began to feel better. We just kept massaging her and made sure she was breathing right. We placed cold compresses on her wrists and on the back of her neck. She never did actually "throw up". Just miserable dry heaves. Soon (two hours) she was OK.
When I was able to have a conversation with her, she said that she had not been talking with any men in particular. CJ and Crystal had not paired up with anyone. CJ is engaged actually, and Crystal is just very selective. They had purchased their own drinks at the end of the night and had not left them unobserved. They go to this particular club to dance. Not find boyfriends or "one-nighters".
So- that tells me it had to have been the bartender. Someone had to have gotten the bartender to slip that girl the dope. I would imagine it was Rohypinol, or something. I have just gotten up, and have not researched, yet.
You ladies be careful. Always. This could have been REALLY bad.


Yes. The Blue is a MOM. And here is one important observation . . .
Being a mother is damned HARD.

Being a SINGLE mother is the number one cause of chemical dependency among women. (unofficial stats- y'all)

NO ONE wanted to babysit my child. She is sweet, and she is intelligent. But she comes up with some damned weird stuff to do. And she can't be disciplined. She is stubborn as hell. She can be appealed to- but you can't MAKE her to do anything.

At one point in our lives- my ex husband had my daughter. That is a long, and amazing saga- but I'll skip the details and remain focused on the point of this entry.

My ex-husband is a control freak. His desire to control everyone and everything within his realm CONFUSES everything within his realm into a chaotic, pointless, mess. Everything must be about HIM. So he creates situations where no matter who else co-exists with him- their whole point of BEING is to conform to whatever he decides they should be about. And then there is nothing left to do but fail him, or strive to please him and win his approval (which of course, he keeps just out of your reach).

Well- as soon as I figured his game out- I was out of there. And as soon as my daughter figured him out- she stopped participating.

She frustrated him to the point of insanity. At one point- he had stripped her room of all toys, games, television, radio, books, or any enjoyable diversion in an effort to force her to perform well in school. CJ didn't care. She not only would not let his efforts coerce her- she stopped doing ANY school work AT ALL.

My ex-husband used to call me, all po'd at CJ, and spouting off about how I was to join him in his fight to force her to bend to his will. I convinced him that I was doing what he wanted- but- I always did what I thought was the best thing to do, in reality. I knew that if CJ were with me- everything would be OK. And, I told my exhusband that. He mocked me about my beliefs about "mother's love", and continued on his mission to force my daughter to his will. I'm not saying dad's can't be spectacularly successful in 'child rearing', because we all KNOW that they can. We all should be honest with ourselves and use our own judgment.

You see- I did not voluntarily let CJ go with my ex-husband. He sued me for custody-and won- after three and a half years of fighting the good fight. I AM after all, a lesbian, and was living at the time with my girlfriend. I didn't stand a chance of winning. But- had I not tried, I never could have forgiven myself. And losing custody of her was DEVASTATING to me. It completely destroyed me.

When none of his restrictions and deprivation worked- he sent her off to boarding school. She was there for two years, and then they decided they couldn't handle her, and sent her back home. And, when she was sent back home- my ex-husband was REALLY pissed.

One weekend, while it was MY weekend to have CJ, she and I woke up to find that all of her belongings that were formerly at her father's had been boxed up and left on my front lawn. CJ was about 14 years old at the time. We tried to call her dad, and got no answer. My heart pounded. I knew this meant that CJ was being "given" back to me. My ex-husband had FINALLY given up. YAY! We drove over to his house, to see if we could catch him home.

Their home was no longer there. It was GONE. He'd had it leveled. He moved out of town, and did not leave a forwarding address or new phone number. He had sold the property to a business next to his home to use as a parking lot. And, he didn't even tell us of his plans. CJ was a bit sad to see her home was GONE, but happy to see that her dad was gone, too.  lol

Eventually, of course, my ex-husband did make attempts to further exert his will, and attempt to control things. Even from another city. But, I learn quickly, and as the years went by after I became involved with him, I learned how to get around him and avoid him. Until CJ was 18, we lived in a house that was fenced all the way out to the street, and kept the gate locked at all times, and kept a yard of vicious dogs.

CJ suffered a bit from the events of her life. But, she finished high school on time. She did, however, get in a bit of trouble and get expelled from the entire public school system of the state of Texas. But, I found a charter school with an accelerated program from which she graduated, without missing a beat. And, now, she's beginning her last semester of college! And, CJ enjoys very good mental health. She has good friends, and always succeeds when she applies herself. She has an enviable job managing a historic movie theatre and is happily married. No babies or drugs.

This totally pisses off my ex-husband. Because it WAS mother's love and care that enabled her to succeed. And, he has even admitted that he was wrong, and that I am a great mom (his words).  Mothers know their children in a way that, in my experience, that some fathers just can't. And, knowing and accepting the fact that CJ is who she is and will be what she'll be and not FIGHTING her is the only way I could enable her to succeed. And, I know that it was VERY difficult for her to simultaneously fail miserably (in order to meet her father's expectations), and, at the same time, to SUCCEED beyond any expectations that I ever entertained, in order to RISE to MY expectations. But she managed to pull it off.

Your children will generally perform just the way you expect them to. Please remember that.

Texans of Faith Storm Capitol for Human Rights

Texans of faith storm Capitol for human rights The largest delegation of fair-minded Texas faith leaders since the conception of the LGBT equality movement is on its way to the nation’s capital to participate in the third Human Rights Campaign’s Clergy Call for Justice and Equality, today through Tuesday.

Montenegro gay concert tear-gassed by hooligans -

Montenegro gay concert tear-gassed by hooligans - Anti-gay hooligans tear-gassed an International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia concert in Montenegro's capital, Podgorica, on 17 May.

Lesbian Shower - Good, clean fun!

Lesbian Art by Blue Sleighty

by: Blue Sleighty in My Photos by blue sleighty

Lesbian Kisses!

Blue Sleighty Presents 101 Uses For an Empty Beer Can

Saturday, May 21, 2011

The Dynamics of Being Lesbian

The dynamics of our sexual being is complex.

I have heard recent discussions that do not make a lot of sense to me. One big discussion is about women who categorize themselves as "butch" or "femme". The argument seems to be that lesbians should not do that. It is politically incorrect and is just an imitation of a heterosexual relationship. But is this true?

My girlfriend, Jax, looks very butch. Let's face it- she's a dyke. She is very handsome, wears no makeup, wears men's clothes, sports a duck tail- she's pretty masculine looking. I, on the other hand, am quite feminine looking, wear whatever I want, wear makeup daily and am usually assumed to be straight. I don't think anyone would ever assume Jax to be straight judging by her looks.

While Jax looks butch, she behaves in a more feminine way than I do. I am the one that behaves more masculine. Men hate me for it. I do not get along well with men because I do not sugar coat everything that comes out of my mouth, I am very strong and capable and do not need their help, care or advice; and while I look great and feminine- I make it very clear that there is not a snowball's chance in hell that I would EVER sleep with them.

In our home life neither of us dominates the other. There is no "boss". Jax and I do, however, seem to bow to the one who is bringing home the most money, meaning that in an unspoken way- the one who has the highest salary gets priority treatment and is pretty much submitted to. This is not something that we ackonwledge at all. It just is what it is with us.

But we do not in ANY way imitate heterosexuality. We are pretty much out. Completely to family and friends. We also live in a gay community.

The superficial "butch/femme" part of our relationship does not make it into the bedroom. We do not stick with roles, rather, we explore role playing. We are  both tops, so we have had to make a lot of adjustments sexually and explore things that we may have never done had we had the top/bottom dynamic in our relationship. As a result we explore role playing in amazing ways. We both like to pack. THAT gets interesting. We both love penetration. We both love strap on sex. She loves fisting. The receiving end. I do not like receiving a fist, but love to administer. She takes a long time to come. I come pretty fast.

Which brings me to another subject of frequent discussion. The rant that if you like penetration you are not a lesbian.

Both Jax and I love penetration. It's about stimulation, not sexual orientation. I tried to make myself heterosexual. I got married when I was 18, but, I pretty quickly found out that I am not cut out for heterosexuality. I realized that I like sex in a zillion different ways- but I didn't need a man for any of it. I do have a child with my ex-husband, but I have not been with a man since her conception and barring rape- I never will again. Jax has never been with a man, but loves penetration. Penetration is very pleasurable to both of us and saying that we can't be lesbians because we like it is as ignorant as saying that a man who likes anal stimulation is gay. It is simply not true.

It's not as simple as how we style our hair and how we dress. Why take away the fun by trying to impose rules?


Most ambitious studies of female orgasmic capacity | World Sex Records

Most ambitious studies of female orgasmic capacity World Sex Records

Most ambitious studies of female orgasmic capacity

A number of sexological studies have attempted to relate the orgasmic capacities of women to a host of other factors, such as family background, attitudes towards parents, and personality structure. In recent times the most ambitious studies of this sort were carried out by L. M. Terman. The first involved a 6 large sample of married women (and their husbands), predominantly middle-or upper middle-class in California. The second study was also based on a California sample and made use of wives who were either highly intelligent themselves or married to intelligent husbands. One intention was that the second study would provide an opportunity to cross validate any findings that emerged from the first. These studies are discussed by Fisher in "The Female Orgasm".

Digital Art by Blue Sleighty

My latest work in the art department:

Friday, May 20, 2011

14 Starlets Who’ve Kissed A Girl Onscreen Talk About The Experience

14 Starlets Who’ve Kissed A Girl Onscreen Talk About The Experience
14 Starlets Who've Kissed A Girl Onscreen Talk About The Experience
In the upcoming movie “Our Idiot Brother,” Rashida Jones co-stars with Paul Rudd’s beard. Oh, and she also kisses Zooey Deschanel. Of course GQ magazine had to ask her about this in their latest issue. When asked about the “hot lesbian make-out scene” with Zooey, Rashida gave sort of an awesome answer. “I feel like I’ve come a long way from my first job, when I had to get mouth-to-mouth resuscitation from Rip Torn.” Amen! [GQ]
After the jump, we’ve rounded up more quotes from starlets who kissed another woman onscreen. Some loved the experience, some felt awkward doing it, and others just don’t get why the world makes such a big deal about it.

Lesbian Kiss for FRIDAY!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Picture of Lesbian Vampire Killers

A Million Christians for LGBT Equality

A Million Christians for LGBT Equality Determined to give voice to the millions of Christians who believe in equal rights for all, including the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered (LGBT) community, Believe Out Loud, a project of Intersections International, is launching a campaign to get one million Christians to break the silence and join the burgeoning chorus for full LGBT equality in the church.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Queer Malawi lifts the gay curtain | AHN

Queer Malawi lifts the gay curtain AHN
Africa is generally not a safe place to have a same-sex relationship - you can be shunned by society, beaten up, thrown in jail, or worse. In Malawi you can get years in prison with hard labor.
clearpxl In a bold move, Malawi's Centre for the Development of People (CEDEP) and South Africa's Gay and Lesbian Memory in Action (GALA) have collected the stories of 12 lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) women and men and published them in a book, Queer Malawi.

San Diego Reader | The Fate of the World Is Safe in Crystal Castles

San Diego Reader The Fate of the World Is Safe in Crystal Castles
“The fate of the world is safe in Crystal Castles,” so says “Alice Practice,” the accidental mic-check track that went viral and made Ethan Kath and Alice Glass of Canadian electro duo Crystal Castles belles of the electronic-rock ball. The two took this year’s tour through the U.K., where they headlined the Shockwaves NME Awards Tour and collected a John Peel Award for innovation, and this year’s Ultra Music fest in Miami, where they headlined the largest electronic music symposium in the world.

Commission, mayor agree: Transgendered employees deserve more health coverage

Commission, mayor agree: Transgendered employees deserve more health coverage
The city of Seattle's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Commission has asked the city council to consider changes to the employee health plan.  Seattle's health benefits do not cover the costs associated with transgender health care issues, including gender reassignment surgery.
In a memo to City Council Civil Rights Committee Chair, Bruce Harrell, the commission said: "the exclusions have devastating effects on transgender employees."

The distortion of U.S. policy in the Middle East

The distortion of U.S. policy in the Middle East Tony Kushner will be receiving an honorary degree from John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York City. This shouldn't be big news. Kushner is a renowned playwright who won the Pulitzer Prize for drama, along with an Emmy Award and two Tonys. The degree became big news when it was abruptly shelved by the City University of New York board of trustees during its May 2 meeting, after a trustee accused Kushner of being anti-Israel.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011


A British photographer has spawned a dazzling collection of photos capturing her favourite creature - the humble frog. 
Photographer and reptile enthusiast Angi Nelson began taking pictures of frogs from her own collection after a diagnosis with the debilitating disease ME left her housebound. 

Read more:

San Diego Democratic Club Responds to Criticism of LGBT Redistricting Task Force

San Diego Democratic Club Responds to Criticism of LGBT Redistricting Task Force
In the current edition of another community publication, a column ran attacking the LGBT Redistricting Task Force as a “mostly all white so-called LGBT Redistricting Committee … working on a new 3rd District that would be about 70 percent all white and would kick out our first gay person of color elected to the city council”.
This analysis of the Task Force and the proposed District 3 map it produced is plain wrong in a number of ways.

Parents protesting gays in anti-bullying policy - News1130

Parents protesting gays in anti-bullying policy - News1130 VANCOUVER (NEWS1130) - There are anti-bullying policies in place to stop discrimination based on race, gender and religion.  But the Burnaby School Board's plan to include gay and lesbian students is not sitting well with all parents.

South African Lesbian Continue to be Targeted in Rapes and Slayings

South African Lesbians Continue to be Targeted in Rapes and Slayings
EKURHULENI, South Africa (AP) — They found Noxolo Nogwaza's body in a drainage ditch choked with trash and high reeds. The lesbian activist had been repeatedly stabbed with broken glass, and beaten so severely with chunks of concrete that her teeth had been knocked out.
The neighborhood where the 24-year-old mother of two was slain once was known as a haven for black gays and lesbians, but activists say her death here late last month highlights an alarming rise in homophobic violence in some of the country's most impoverished areas.

Navy Chaplains Can Perform Same Sex Marriage Ceremonies

DON'T ASK DON'T TELL- but Navy Chaplains CAN Perform Same Sex Marriage Ceremonies

The move comes as the Department of Defense prepares to complete the dismantling of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” prohibition against homosexuals serving in the U.S. military. With the relaxing of military standards will come the obvious demands by homosexuals to marry their same-sex partners, including ceremonies in military chapels. As reported by the Navy Times, a memorandum from the Navy’s head chaplain, Rear Admiral Mark Tidd, advised that “consistent with the tenets of his or her religious organization, a chaplain may officiate a same-sex, civil marriage: if it is conducted in accordance with a state that permits same-sex marriage or union; and if that chaplain is, according to the applicable state and local laws, otherwise fully certified to officiate that state’s marriages.”

Don't Forget Plan B - RU 486

The true picture - A LAW EACH DAY (Keeps Trouble Away) By Jose C. Sison The Philippine Star News Opinion Congress is supposed to start deliberations on the RH bill. As usual, the public is hoping that our legislators will not spend and waste their time on hearing arguments about the RH bill which are half-truths or complete lies. Indeed Congress will be the harbinger of good news if they can first draw up the real and truthful issues regarding the pros and cons of the said bill. Both sides should first confer and draw the clear battle lines.

Hockey player advocates for gay marriage - Latest News Roundup

Hockey player advocates for gay marriage - Latest News Roundup According to the report Avery is one of the “few active athletes in American team sports to voice support for gay rights, and is believed to be the first in New York to publicly advocate for same-sex marriage.”

Cher avoided 'new son' | Celebrities | Entertainment | Toronto Sun

Cher avoided 'new son' Celebrities Entertainment Toronto Sun
Cher spent months avoiding her transgender son Chaz Bono as he went through the process to become a man - because she was terrified she wouldn’t recognize him as her child.
Bono was born Chastity - Cher and ex-husband Sonny Bono’s only daughter - and she broke her mother’s heart when she came out as a lesbian. Chaz feared more heartbreak was to come when he revealed his plans to undergo a lengthy and extensive sex change procedure, but Cher took the news well.
However, once the process started, the pop superstar kept her distance.

New Q/A @

My most recent question on was from a young lesbian seeking advice about oral sex.
Blue Sleighty at .

Let's Talk About Sex - Curve Magazine - Web Articles 2011

Let's Talk About Sex - Curve Magazine - Web Articles 2011

Killing of Lesbian a Hate Crime | Star Online

Killing of lesbian a hate crime Star Online