Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Fisting

My girlfriend engaged in fisting with an inexperienced partner 20 years ago, and was physically traumatized. She was enormously embarrassed when she nearly bled to death, had to go to the hospital and required surgery to repair her torn vaginal canal.
However, 20 years later, she and I frequently enjoy sex that includes fisting. I am very experienced in this sexual activity. It is what one would call EXTREME sex and can be quite dangerous, but very pleasurable for the receiver and the giver if done correctly. If not done correctly, the receiver can be injured, and even die were she to suffer trauma or embolism.
Therefore- this is an act that leaves one very vulnerable, and requires a lot of trust and communication.Fisting is the ultimate penetration, I would think. And it is an awesome experience to share with your lover.
If your lover is not reading this article with you (or does not seek education about the act if she has never done it) - then fisting is NOT for you. This is an act that must be agreed upon and be experienced as a couple. This is NOT an act to engage in with a casual acquaintance or approached in a casual way.
- HOW do you do it?
For this act to be pleasurable, your LOVER must WANT to be penetrated in this way. It is mostly about her and not about the performer. HER desire to have your FIST inside of her comes from intense feelings of arousal and passion and love. You can not and must not try this if your partner does not WANT you to do it. Do not talk a reluctant partner into it.
The basic things that you must be aware of, are the safety measures. So you must have trust, communication, desire, and plenty of . . . LUBRICATION.
In order to attempt penetrating your partner with your fist she must be very sexually aroused. There is a lot of foreplay involved. And it is best when you (the giver) are aroused as well.
After engaging in enough foreplay for your partner to want penetration, and imagine your fist inside of her, you should ask first if she has not expressed the desire for you to do this.
Before attempting to engage in the sexual act of fisting- I recommend this checklist:
1. You, the PERFORMER (the partner who is about to perform this sexual act) have fingernails that are short and clean and have no sharp edges and you have clean hands
2. You, THE PERFORMER (the partner who is about to perform this sexual act) are capable of proceeding slowly, and capable of STOPPING if your partner says to STOP (this is not a time to be carried away by passion!)
3. You, THE PERFORMER (the partner who is about to perform this sexual act) have removed any and all jewelry that you wear on your hands. NO JEWELRY. No bracelets, no rings, or any other kind of jewelry. And, I discourage fisting when you are using sculpted nails, as well
4. Receiving partner – ABOUT TO HAVE THIS ACT PERFORMED ON YOU - must be capable of relaxing. You must trust your partner. Must feel comfortable with communication during sex, and must reconsider this sexual act if you have a “friable cervix”, or any other physical situation which would result in the presence of blood, including your menses cycle (period), unless you and your partner have agreed that it is alright if you are exposed to each other’s blood. This is not a good time for surprises
That said- here are my suggestions:
Once you and your partner feel that the time is right, foreplay should begin, and you should eventually alternate clitoral stimulation with digital vaginal penetration.
When the performer feels natural lubrication present from the receiver, she should start to penetrate the receiver’s vagina with her fingers, while still paying attention to the clitoris. Once the receiver is thoroughly lubricated and obviously willing, the performer should present more fingers into the receiver’s vagina, while still administering stimulation to the clitoris, and kissing the receiver, administering nipple stimulation, as well, if possible.
When the time comes that while administering digital penetration it is easy to slip four fingers inside of the receiver’s vagina, the couple can proceed towards penetration of the fist.
A good lubricant should be presented to the vagina at this point, even if the receiver is extremely wet from excitement, and stimulation should be continued. Always.
In order to present the fist into the vagina, the presenter should form a fist, and observe her fist (a mental observation is OK) to make certain that her fingertips have been carefully ‘curled under’, or padded against other fingers to protect the receiver from possible injury from sharp fingernails, and that the fist has a shape that will make it possible to penetrate the vagina easily, and allow for maximum stimulation.
The act of fisting affords the opportunity to massage the “G” Spot in a very intense way, as the presenter can twist her fist once inside of the receiver’s vagina and use her knuckles to massage the receiver’s “G” Spot more deeply and directly than by using a sex toy, or by digital penetration or by any other means that I am aware of.
Lubrication should be in place. The presenter’s fist should not be clenched as if the presenter were about to engage in a fight and use it as a weapon, but should have the fingers positioned as to configure what might resemble a cone shape (or a REALLY big penis head). This shape allows for easier penetration. The ‘fighter’s’ fist shape will absolutely not safely work for this sexual act and therefore should not be attempted.
The presenter should listen to, and obey the receiver. No means no. Slow means slow.
Once the presenter’s fist is inside of the receiver’s vagina, movement should be smooth and slow until the presenter’s fist feels accommodated within the receiver. The receiver will let you know how much, how fast and exactly how to proceed.
As the receiver becomes more accustomed to her lover’s entire hand being inside of her vagina, she will develop her own rhythm and hip movements and can be relied upon to communicate to the presenter what she believes feels best to her. The presenter should be aware that orgasms involve very powerful muscle contractions, and should your lover experience an orgasm while you are fisting- your hand could actually be subject to injury. Even as serious as a broken bone.
Done correctly- the act of fisting, in my estimation, can be the most exciting sexual act that you will ever engage in. It is the ultimate act of sharing, trust and respect. Communication. It is quite incredible. And THAT is what you can EXPECT from the experience.
Also expect to be a little sore the next day. That is normal.
If you decide as a couple to do this- PLEASE – proceed with caution!

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