Monday, December 5, 2011


As a woman and a mother, if there were only one thing and nothing else that I could ever teach my own daughter and my friends and fans, that one thing would be to RESIST MEDIA MARKETING AND MANIPULATION.

America as a whole has been brainwashed and hammered to become everything that we ARE TOLD TO BE. We are told how we should live, what we should want, what we NEED, what we should wish for, hope for, and dream of. And definitely how we should LOOK.

As we are manipulated, shamed and guilted into striving for the 'perfection' that is tied up in a neat little package and laid out before us, and then bashed into our brains by constant messages, both subliminal and blazingly blatant, we achieve these force fed ideals at no small cost.

Here is an example:

All people are highly suggestible. Men are certainly no exception. Men are told by the media and the world of marketing what type of woman is desirable. They come in three hair colors (blonde, brunette and redhead) and four skin tones (fair, medium, medium brown, and dark brown). Other than that the body type is pretty much the same. And the inner contents are not so important as long as they are easy to manage and eager to please.

As the men are obviously admiring the 'models' that they are told they should desire, women in pursuit of men strive very hard to be what their men want in a woman.

As a result of needing to make themselves desirable to men, women will do just about anything. This well designed head game produces the following results-

1. Girls and women spend their ENTIRE LIVES believing that they are not beautiful because they do not look like models in magazines and in the media. Some become depressed and must use antidepressants. Some actually kill themselves.
2. Women get plastic surgery. Boob jobs, Butt lifts, vagina tightening, nose jobs, face lifts, or whatever fix they feel is needed to become the ideal.
3. Dye and process their hair with chemicals that cause cancer.
4. Ruin their nails by using acrylic overlays.
5. Starve themselves to unhealthy weights sometimes resulting in serious illness and death.
6. Expose themselves to the sun until they get cancer and their skin is either permanently ruined or they require surgery to fix it.
7. Go into debt trying to stay clad in the latest and greatest fashions.

While those who market to us are responsible for what they dish out- WE are responsible for taking it. This is something that we do not HAVE to allow and I am begging every person who reads this blog to take a stand.

By allowing this sort of exploitive marketing we are creating a situation that has no good end. This very situation is what causes women to be objectified and as long as women ARE objectified we will never be taken seriously. We will never be appreciated for anything we ever do except for being thin, large breasted and meeting the CRITERIA required for being WORTHY of being objectified.

As objects we have no dimension, no value and no power. Our achievements mean NOTHING. Our dreams are invalidated. Our contributions go unnoticed until a man takes credit for them.

How can we provide solid and important role models to young women when we are not taken seriously and we largely go unheard? This video addresses the issue. What you will see here is the extended length trailer.

As a young woman men tried very hard to exploit me, objectify me, and control me. I allowed it to happen at first because I was too young to know that I didn't HAVE to. At 18 I decided that I was not going to let these things happen to me if I could possibly prevent it. I stopped watching television that offended me. I stopped reading magazines that offended me and I stopped keeping my mouth shut when I saw images or actions that I knew were wrong. I was very artistic and athletic and I spent my time pursuing my interests. Men still found me attractive and I never had a shortage of dates (which I eventually stopped doing as I realized I was gay and it wasn't to be a phase).

When my daughter was a little girl- I let her dress any way she wanted. She did NOT choose to dress like a pageant princess. She chose jeans and girly t-shirts. She liked it when we attended the theatre or a formal event because she liked dressing up- but she chose really beautiful, elegant dresses.

Before long- my daughter noticed fashion magazines and television and everything changed. She did not change the way she dressed, but she became very unsettled by what she was beginning to percieve of as what was expected of her to be beautiful. She became unhappy with her looks. Suddenly her boobs were too small, her nose was too big, her hips were too wide, she was too short and she wasn't BLOND.

So- we turned off the television. We stopped looking at the magazines and we talked about the marketing and media issue several times a week for years. I reassured her constantly that she was worthwhile and desirable and that she would not want a man that was so shallow that he had to be told what to want. Soon she started getting boyfriends. She remained true to herself and she learned that buying into the message that was being sent to her so constantly and so loudly would have destroyed the person that she really was.

It was heartbreaking to watch my daughter have to go through this senseless, ridiculous self doubt, low self esteem, and self loathing just so some asshole could sell shit.

Let us hope that we can stop this madness.