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Monday, December 5, 2011

TAKE A STAND AGAINST THE OBJECTIFICATION AND EXPLOITATION OF WOMEN BY THE MEDIA

As a woman and a mother, if there were only one thing and nothing else that I could ever teach my own daughter and my friends and fans, that one thing would be to RESIST MEDIA MARKETING AND MANIPULATION.

America as a whole has been brainwashed and hammered to become everything that we ARE TOLD TO BE. We are told how we should live, what we should want, what we NEED, what we should wish for, hope for, and dream of. And definitely how we should LOOK.

As we are manipulated, shamed and guilted into striving for the 'perfection' that is tied up in a neat little package and laid out before us, and then bashed into our brains by constant messages, both subliminal and blazingly blatant, we achieve these force fed ideals at no small cost.

Here is an example:

All people are highly suggestible. Men are certainly no exception. Men are told by the media and the world of marketing what type of woman is desirable. They come in three hair colors (blonde, brunette and redhead) and four skin tones (fair, medium, medium brown, and dark brown). Other than that the body type is pretty much the same. And the inner contents are not so important as long as they are easy to manage and eager to please.

As the men are obviously admiring the 'models' that they are told they should desire, women in pursuit of men strive very hard to be what their men want in a woman.

As a result of needing to make themselves desirable to men, women will do just about anything. This well designed head game produces the following results-

1. Girls and women spend their ENTIRE LIVES believing that they are not beautiful because they do not look like models in magazines and in the media. Some become depressed and must use antidepressants. Some actually kill themselves.
2. Women get plastic surgery. Boob jobs, Butt lifts, vagina tightening, nose jobs, face lifts, or whatever fix they feel is needed to become the ideal.
3. Dye and process their hair with chemicals that cause cancer.
4. Ruin their nails by using acrylic overlays.
5. Starve themselves to unhealthy weights sometimes resulting in serious illness and death.
6. Expose themselves to the sun until they get cancer and their skin is either permanently ruined or they require surgery to fix it.
7. Go into debt trying to stay clad in the latest and greatest fashions.

While those who market to us are responsible for what they dish out- WE are responsible for taking it. This is something that we do not HAVE to allow and I am begging every person who reads this blog to take a stand.

By allowing this sort of exploitive marketing we are creating a situation that has no good end. This very situation is what causes women to be objectified and as long as women ARE objectified we will never be taken seriously. We will never be appreciated for anything we ever do except for being thin, large breasted and meeting the CRITERIA required for being WORTHY of being objectified.

As objects we have no dimension, no value and no power. Our achievements mean NOTHING. Our dreams are invalidated. Our contributions go unnoticed until a man takes credit for them.

How can we provide solid and important role models to young women when we are not taken seriously and we largely go unheard? This video addresses the issue. What you will see here is the extended length trailer.



As a young woman men tried very hard to exploit me, objectify me, and control me. I allowed it to happen at first because I was too young to know that I didn't HAVE to. At 18 I decided that I was not going to let these things happen to me if I could possibly prevent it. I stopped watching television that offended me. I stopped reading magazines that offended me and I stopped keeping my mouth shut when I saw images or actions that I knew were wrong. I was very artistic and athletic and I spent my time pursuing my interests. Men still found me attractive and I never had a shortage of dates (which I eventually stopped doing as I realized I was gay and it wasn't to be a phase).

When my daughter was a little girl- I let her dress any way she wanted. She did NOT choose to dress like a pageant princess. She chose jeans and girly t-shirts. She liked it when we attended the theatre or a formal event because she liked dressing up- but she chose really beautiful, elegant dresses.

Before long- my daughter noticed fashion magazines and television and everything changed. She did not change the way she dressed, but she became very unsettled by what she was beginning to percieve of as what was expected of her to be beautiful. She became unhappy with her looks. Suddenly her boobs were too small, her nose was too big, her hips were too wide, she was too short and she wasn't BLOND.

So- we turned off the television. We stopped looking at the magazines and we talked about the marketing and media issue several times a week for years. I reassured her constantly that she was worthwhile and desirable and that she would not want a man that was so shallow that he had to be told what to want. Soon she started getting boyfriends. She remained true to herself and she learned that buying into the message that was being sent to her so constantly and so loudly would have destroyed the person that she really was.

It was heartbreaking to watch my daughter have to go through this senseless, ridiculous self doubt, low self esteem, and self loathing just so some asshole could sell shit.

Let us hope that we can stop this madness.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

TEETH BITE. The Mestizo Vein - Part 3

Now on SMASHWORDS! TEETH BITE. The Mestizo Vein - Part 3!
Part 3 - Luna continues sharing her vampire history as secrets that will forever change her relationship with Monette reveal themselves. Meanwhile, Rodriguez continues trying to unravel the mystery behind Alejandro’s death and the connection she suspects involves Luna. Experience power, passion, and obsession. The unholy trinity that is Teeth Bite: The Mestizo Vein Part 3.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

TEETH BITE - The Mestizo Vein - Part 2

Part 2 of TEETH BITE. The Mestizo Vein is now available on SMASHWORDS

TEETH BITE - the Mestizo Vein - Pt. 1 by Jaguiler & Blue Sleighty


FREE until 10/28 with this code at SMASHWORDS: JJ34J

Ebook Short Description
Betrayal gave her birth. Sin gave her life. Fate gave her power. Blood gave her destiny.

Extended Description
She sat in her room, the world spinning all around in one dark mass, the voices of memory encompassing every thought. Where could she go to quiet them?

"No where," they answered, "We are you, and you are us."

Tossing and turning, she raged in her sleep, blankets and pillows thrown all over the floor. She finally awoke when her hand hit the corner of the headboard. "Damn," she yelled as she sat up, turned on the light, and examined the gash on her right hand. The blood ran thickly down her knuckle and over her wrist. For a moment, she sat motionless and watched it.... (Read more) She sat in her room, the world spinning all around in one dark mass, the voices of memory encompassing every thought. Where could she go to quiet them?

"No where," they answered, "We are you, and you are us."

Tossing and turning, she raged in her sleep, blankets and pillows thrown all over the floor. She finally awoke when her hand hit the corner of the headboard. "Damn," she yelled as she sat up, turned on the light, and examined the gash on her right hand. The blood ran thickly down her knuckle and over her wrist. For a moment, she sat motionless and watched it.

As the creek of blood began to clot, she released herself from her fascination and licked her hand. Her saliva stung the wound pleasantly, and at once, the congealing trickle stopped. She looked at the clock – 3:37 a.m. She'd almost made it through another night.

Getting up and going to the bathroom, she rinsed the wound and poured peroxide on it. Bubbles pushed their way in and around the cut, playing with the still open wound. Small drops of blood fought their way back to the surface. As they appeared, the peroxide engulfed them.

Looks like pink champagne, she thought, smiling to herself and knowing full well that she didn’t have to allow this to go on. Still, the peroxide's sting gave her that familiar feeling, the feeling that just the right amount of pain can give to one's desires.

A couple hours hung in the balance before daylight, the remaining cover of darkness providing so much temptation, but what would be out there at this time of the morning, she thought. She gave the clock another glance – 4:03 a.m.

Rather than leave the safety of her home, she picked up the phone and dialed. The voice answered and obeyed. Within a half-hour, the doorbell rang. It was time.
(Less)

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Spirit Day!

Spirit Day!

Stuffed Poblano Peppers - Blue's Famous Recipe!

You should read first and then cook. NOT as you go along with this recipe. There is a lot to be said about how to roast and skin peppers. http://inspiredbites.blogspot.com/2008/04/how-to-roast-and-peel-poblano-peppers.html This website is a pretty good resource. After the peppers are roasted, however, most people let them steam a bit. Not just COOL like on this website. But- the website has visuals and it is very helpful up to the point of taking them out of the oven. In Texas and Mexico- we take them from the oven after roasting and put them in a large bowl and put a plate on top to catch the steam. A big zip lock will work just as well. You can place them in the bag and let them cool and continue steaming.

After the peppers are steamed and feel cool enough to handle, we take the seeds out. You should wear food prep gloves so you don't get the capsaicin in your skin. The seeds are SPICY!

So when they are cool enough to handle peel them (just pull off the skin with your fingers- may need a knife to coax) - then, take a knife and cut a slit in the pepper lengthwise from bottom to the top (remember they are going to be stuffed- so they should be like a pouch or a boat, kind of). Then with gloved fingers, gently remove all of the inside stuff until you have just the walls of the pepper and the stem still attached.

You can freeze these- so you might want to keep that in mind if you end up loving the recipe. :)

I recommend buying 6 peppers in case of malfunction. More if you're entertaining. lol

It will take at least 1/2 of a cup of stuffing per pepper.

For the stuffing- the possibilities are endless. You can use shredded chicken, ground beef, sauteed veggies, or a combination.

For instance:

3 medium yellow squash
3 medium zucchinis
1 medium onion (any kind that you like)
1 chopped medium to large tomato (any color or variety)
2 -3 cloves of garlic (smashed and chopped)
3/4 tsp Cumin
3/4 tsp Chili Powder
3/4 tsp Oregano   You can substitute taco seasoning if you would prefer for these spices.
salt to to your liking
2 - 3 TBSP of olive oil

Any of these options should be sauteed with the above ingredients:
optional: 1 jalapeno pepper (HOT)
optional: 1 red bell pepper
optional: 1 green bell pepper
optional: chopped spinach or kale
optional: 1/2 cup bread crumbs (or cracker crumbs- whatever you have)

These options do not need to be sauteed:
optional: any kind of cooked shredded or ground meat or poultry (should be warmed)
optional: chopped walnuts or pecans

NOT AN OPTION (must have) - 1 - 2 cups of cooked rice (any kind), lots of cheese (your favorite), sour cream, picante sauce or salsa

1. Sautee all that needs to be sauteed until it is as soft as you like it with recommended spices. Transfer to mixing bowl when cooked.
2. Add cooked rice and cooked meat (if you are using it) to the bowl. It should be warmed already for time's sake.
3. Mix thoroughly (add nuts if you are using them)
4. Spoon mixture into prepared poblano peppers until filled
5. Cook in 325f degree oven until meat thermometer reads 175. Or- do the best u can. 20 to 30 minutes.

When temp is right turn off oven. Top with cheese and let the cheese melt.
Mix sour cream with salsa or picante sauce in a 50/50 mix

It's ready when the cheese is melted! Drink beer, tequila, sangria, margaritas, or all  . . . have fun!

Tortilla chips are good with them, too!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

'Go purple' Thursday for LGBT youth - CBS 3 Springfield - WSHM

'Go purple' Thursday for LGBT youth - CBS 3 Springfield - WSHM (click for entire article)
(RNN) - What will Cher, Julianne Moore, Ricky Martin, TV talk show hosts, social media users and the Jersey Shore's Pauley D. all be doing Thursday?
They are all-in on a movement that will take America by storm, and it has nothing to do with Occupy Wall Street.
MTV, Facebook and even local landmarks will also join in on the pledge to "go purple" in support of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth. 
"With their support, millions of Americans will help remind countless young people that it's OK to be who you are," said Seth Adam, communications and publications manager for the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD).
Thursday marks the second-annual Spirit Day, which teenager Brittany McMillan started as a response to several LGBT youths who took their own lives during the past few years because of bullying.
"At the end of the day, I want Spirit Day to make just one person feel a little bit better about his or her self, to feel safe enough in their own skin to be proud of who they are," McMillan said in an interview with GLAAD. "And even if it only stops one person from ending their life, that will be enough."

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Our Responsibility to Lesbian Role Models In the Global Lesbian Community

October 13, 2011

Our Responsibility to Lesbian Role Models In the Global Lesbian Community
By Blue Sleighty

The lack of lesbian role models available for the youth of the global lesbian community is worrisome. Lesbians are mostly invisible even though there are hundreds of talented, intelligent and noteworthy women in the world who happen to also be lesbians. Most of the heterosexual community is not the slightest bit interested in noteworthy lesbians, the lesbian community, lesbian youth, or their need for positive role models to identify with. It is, therefore, up to our global community to take the responsibility of providing information to our youth.

Were you to ask the average person to name all of the living lesbians that they could think of who would make good role models for lesbian youth, you would get roughly the same answer from everyone that you asked. They would name some of these women:
Ellen De Generes, Rosie O’Donnell, Wanda Sykes, Queen Latifa, Melissa Etheridge, Sara Gilbert, Meredith Baxter, Margaret Cho, Alicia Hailey, Martina Navratilova, Billy Jean King, and . . . well- that’s about all that would come to the average person’s mind.

Why do we not know about other great women who are lesbians? It’s really all about marketing, or, more correctly NOT marketing. Lesbians do not market themselves well enough. The women listed in the above paragraph are marketed to you with a vengeance. These women have big money behind them, and some have OPRAH behind them which is instant success.

If we do not take it upon ourselves to make information available to our youth in an appropriate manner, they will never have role models to look up to, aspire to, or emulate. We must make it our responsibility to educate LGBT youth.

In this age of the power of the internet it is possible to market availability of information to huge numbers of youth groups on the many social networking communities, YouTube, blogs, websites and more. However, if we are not creating content and getting the information out there- nothing will ever change.

The trick to successful marketing is to reach an interested audience. It’s a man’s world and men only like women that fit their ideal, whether that woman is straight or lesbian. It takes a long time to get past that wall. Men initially feel that if there is no possibility of sex with a woman then there is no point for further conversation. Men prefer women who do not mind being objectified. It takes marketing a very talented, powerful woman or an interesting and non offensive gay man to get a heterosexual male’s attention. It is a waste of money to market lesbians to people who are not interested. Most women who refuse to be objectified (most lesbians prefer not to be objectified) are met with irritation from men and from objectified women and are ultimately rejected. It rocks the boat. It’s a long hard road to acceptance. So why bother? Why leave our need for exposure up to the media powers that be who market to the wrong target audience and create public outrage instead of acceptance and interest? With the internet and all of the interest in independent artists, writers, film makers, musicians and all media produced by indies, women can market themselves and choose their target audience.

Although there have been gay men on television for a much longer time than we have had lesbian television characters- were any of these characters taken seriously? I think they were treated like a dirty joke. Actually- I think they are still treated like they are ridiculous, dirty jokes. Like something that straight men can use to measure their masculinity by or worse.

How many out and proud male talk show hosts do we have? Not many. Only one comes to mind. Anderson Cooper. Cooper, a Vanderbilt, comes from a family of influence and historic notoriety. Anderson Cooper graduated from Yale and has led a wonderfully fascinating life and has had an enviable career. He appeals to a very broad audience and certainly has the credentials to win the respect of most. But he is uniquely unique. We have some gay radio talk show hosts. Anderson Cooper is the only gay television talk show host in the United States and maybe the world that can compete on any level with Rosie O’Donnell and Ellen DeGeneres.

Thanks largely to Oprah (at least in the U.S. for creating interest in the first place), Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O’Donnell- a few lesbians are becoming more visible and more acceptable. As these women and their presence on television allow the world to see that they are strong, intelligent women with a lot to offer and that their lives are pretty normal except for ‘that one little thing’, the general population is now learning that there is more to a lesbian than her sexual orientation.

Still, in the heterosexual world lesbians that were not on a porn video titillating the sexual fantasies of mainstream male society have largely been considered to be bitches, women’s libbers, ugly, or in some way physically defective women who could never get a man and had to settle for women. How do we change these perceptions? Visibility takes marketing and marketing takes hard work, time and money. And I can tell you this we will have to do it ourselves.

This is an important time in history. For the first time in the history of the U.S. we can have widely loved and accepted out and proud gay and lesbian role models. Our children  can now have gay men and lesbians that they can look up to and be proud of as soon as we take it upon ourselves to put the information out there.

Why is it that Rosie O’Donnell is very visible while other lesbians remain invisible? She is MARKETED to you. Of course- if she were a bad product it wouldn’t make much difference- but Rosie is a quality human. Rosie has many things going for her. She is a genuinely talented woman who has worked very hard. She is smart. She gives her all. She gives big to philanthropic causes. She has great connections (which she EARNED). She is able to be confrontational about controversial issues and still come across as nice. Women- both lesbian and straight- are behind her. She is a mom. She says things that many women think but would never actually say and does things that women wish they could do (like taking her children to work and allowing her employees to do the same). Because Rosie has women behind her, she does not have to look like a super model. Women are happy with her best. And she definitely gives us her best. Rosie is a wonderful role model. And- she has Oprah!

Ellen DeGeneres who is also extremely talented and massively appealing in her own right has also been touched by the finger of Oprah, which if one is blessed with it- can’t be denied as a contributing factor to anyone’s success. DeGeneres, too, is worthy. She is talented, intelligent, hard working, and marketed to you in big doses. The world loves Ellen and even accepts her occasional negative publicity with a grain of salt. Another very good role model who is a lesbian.

While the world is now sitting poised for wide acceptance of lesbians and will not only tolerate but welcome and enjoy the talents of many noteworthy lesbians, and possibly celebrate them as role models and great talents and / or influential people, it is up to the individual to market themselves. Remind us that you are out there. And it is up to ALL OF US to spread the word to the world.

We do not have to look for Rosie O’Donnell or Ellen DeGeneres. They are in front of our faces every day. And we love them! We love Wanda Sykes, Jodie Foster, Queen Latifa, Melissa Etheridge, Meredith Baxter, Sara Gilbert and the few others that are in the news and always marketed to us.

Now is definitely the time for homosexual people to show the world what they can do. Because for the first time- we are being judged differently. Most people will look at our work first and our sexual orientation as an added note of interest instead of a reason to shut us out in disgust.

My Secret Obsession